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One of these isn't true. #-- CREDITS 2:4 -- Barry Swan - character graphics and rendered title. Part time moneylender to Robert. #-- CREDITS 3:4 -- Tracy Sullivan - title screen artwork. Deserves medal for putting up with my hassle all the time. #-- CREDITS 4:4 -- I'd like to thank everyone who helped me on this, including my mother, my hairdresser, other yaroze members, and just like, well, everyone I've ever met. I'm so happy, I could just cry... #-- HELP 1:4 -- Up button - move forward Down button - move backwards Left + Right button - rotate #-- HELP 2:4 -- Cross button - talk or swing sword Square button - use item Circle button - use magic #-- HELP 3:4 -- L1 + R1 buttons - select item L2 + R2 buttons - select magic Start button - pause #-- HELP 4:4 -- Any other sort of help required, try directory enquiries, or the Samaritans. Alternatively, phone up a freephone bank and ask for their advice. #\p$8L`t(<PdxHi there, how are you? #Go away. #Hang on, all I said was hello... #Look mate, just sod off and leave me alone. #All I was going to do was ask what the hell I was supposed to be doing, seeing as I just haven't got a clue. #Typical. You stand next to a river, and talk to the person nearest expecting them to be the ferryman. #You adventurers are so predictable. #The man tries his best to ignore you, but... #...well, I wasn't really going to ask about the river, but while we're on the subject, who do I ask to cross it? #Well, as it turns out, I am the ferryman. But I won't do nuffink without permission from the king. #Let me guess; I have to go find someone else in order to get something for you to help me? #Yep, that just about sums it up, sir. #Hmm, and I thought the days of running back and forth to hide a lack of gameplay were over... #I wouldn't know, I'm just a bit part in this game. #Come back with permission from the king and I might let you get across. #You agree with the ferryman to do such a thing, secretly wondering why you would even bother crossing the river. #Hi, you are the ferryman, aren't you? #Who wants to know? #I got a message off some bloke in some town, and he said to let me across. #Ah, ok then. Just walk down to the jetty and the raft will get you across no problems. #You mean that message was enough to get you to help me? #Well, you have authority, don't you? #Yes, but I could have lied earlier and said I had when I hadn't! #Not my problem. If people want to lie, then I'll let it be on their consciences. #Get down to the jetty so you can travel to Misty Forest. #$\LWhat be your business in yon city? #Not sure, I think I probably have to talk to someone and they'll give me an item I can pass on to someone else who will give me another item, etc. etc. #Sounds exciting. #It would do to an imbecile like you, but I want more from life than that. #Ah, thanks for the compliment. #No problem. #You can feel your brain warning you not to talk to him, so you think maybe it's better not to bother #Hi there. #The guard ignores you. #HELLO THERE? (calmer) hello, care to chat? #The guard refuses to respond. Maybe he is a true professional, only talking when asked to by a commanding officer. #Hello? #You dismiss that idea in favour or thinking the guy is very, very dumb. #You wave your hands in front of the guard's face but he does nothing, so you leave him be. #Wotcha. Cor cup a love, darling, apples and pears. #Ah, you think, the innocence of the cockney banter. #Blimey, guv'nor, jellied eels, an' it ain't 'arf hot mum. #You quickly remember how annoying this sort of cheap stereotyping is. #Please shut up, you irritating man, or I may be forced to hit you hard. #Oh, ok. #Sorry about that, just that we all try to be different here and so I chose to talk in a fake East End fashion. #Talk how you like, but just be aware that I may have to berate you physically if you come out with more rubbish. #Deary me, as sure as eggs is eggs you're a real gennelman, squire, an' thats the truth. #You hit the guard, and derive immense satisfaction from it. #You simply hit the guard, as it is more fun than talking to him. #May I apologise on behalf of the others; they are suffering from terminal stupidity... #You think that finally here is a normal person. #...and as a token of just how sorry I am I will bow down before you and your family. #I feel unable to bring myself to even look at such a wondrous presence as your own, sir. #Oh dear, you're as annoying as the others, arent you? #Henceforth, I shall disembowel myself daily for thinking that someone such as me should occupy, nay breath the very same air. #The man appears to be attempting to slice open his own stomach, but you decide not to be a good samaritan and instead leave him to it. #Im just a wee country idiot, me. #But this is the gaming equivalent of a town... #That proves just how stupid I am then, doesn't it? #Tell me, do you like hospital food? #Why are you pretending to be an idiot? #Well, we all have to say something to you, and I couldn't think of anything, so I decided on being the idiot; I don't have to say much then. #I consider it ironic myself that you are the idiot and have said more than everyone else in this crummy town. #I might do too if I knew what 'ironic' meant. #Shut up fool. #I'm an idiot, do you really want to keep talking to me? #You decide the man is indeed an idiot and walk away from him rather than wasting time with him. #I wonder if you can tell me anything important? #The villager pulls out a piece of paper and reads slowly from it. #Ooh, this place has a nasty curse on it. I don't think we can take much more. #What curse? #(Starting to read from the next page) We have been blighted by the terror of some birds. #Birds? Is that all? Thats pathetic. #You realise the villager has no mind of her own and so you leave her alone. #I know almost everyone in this village. #Really? That is so exciting. #Go on, let me prove it? As far as computer characters go, I'm popular. #Not with me your not. #Everyone who knows me in the village, say ''Hello'. #Ok, point taken you tedious individual. #Yet another person you want to avoid. Maybe one day someone will tell you something useful. #It appears you have arrived at the right time for us. We need someone to help rid us of our problem. #What problem would that be? #We have some birds that regularly cause a nuisance, and would thus like them taken care of. #Surely that's not a coincidence is it? I mean, how long have you had this problem? #Since you started playing the game. #What do you suggest I do about these birds? #Well, you'll have to kill them otherwise you'll be stuck in this game for ever. I'd talk to the important looking fellow in the town square. #You remember this person as being helpful, so you thank them. If you've forgotten what they said, Im sure they would repeat it. #They refuse to talk to you, but you don't feel as though you are missing much. #How come none of you people walk around? #Its not our fault, just that the programmer wasn't good enough at getting the models done properly. #What suffered was the animation, so it means basically most of us just stand around a lot. #Surely thats awful, having to stand around all day doing nothing? #Well, I was thinking of moving into the civil service, but they had no vacancies. #...besides, it could be worse. Look at the kids in South Park, they haven't even got a third dimension. #The man appears to be mad, so you decide you would rather talk to Cujo than him again. #If you go visiting around here, watch out for the forest, I've heard it is always foggy and easy to lose your way around. #Have you got any advice on how to find myself around in the fog? #Cleverly you realise you will have to encounter this fog for yourself later, as it seems unlikely that it would be mentioned otherwise. #There isn't much I can say about the fog, except walk slowly and remember where you came from. #I've heard there is a wise man living in a cave in there, and the entrance is near a red tree... #Thank you, I will. #Again you realise that the fog must exist, even if only as a cheap special effect put in by the programmer to try to impress people. #Have you noticed how the role of the X button changes in the game? #Up until now, you have probably just used it to talk to people, but in other rooms it can be used to fight. #When you can use it to fight, you will see a sword icon on the right if the screen, otherwise it is a speech bubble. #You regret not being able to use your sword on the people inhabiting this town. #If only I was more attractive. #The person sags in front of you. #What's the matter. #Noone will look at me anymore. Gone are the days when gouraud shading was something new and attractive. #Now it's all z-buffer rendering and higher polygon counts. An old'timer like me just can't cut the mustard. #Ah well, at least I've got a few more polygons than you! #You are stunned by the politeness of this individual. #Fine thanks, how are you? #My life would be so much better if it wasn't for those birds attacking us all the time. #What do these birds do precisely? #Well, sometimes they fly overhead and make loud noises. #Really? Is that all? #Sometimes they will swoop low over our village and (shudder) pick up crumbs to eat. #Sounds like a rather tenuous reason to send me out to kill them. #Give us a break, mate; this ain't no 3 year, team of 35 developers type game. Remember there was only one poor guy doing nearly all this. #As the game is a small demo, it doesn't require a huge storyline. #Besides, all the dragons and wizards have been booked to work on all the new hack 'n slash PC games. #You decide that you have been moaned at enough by this person, so decide to avoid it happening again. #You listen to the old man mutter to himself. #What are we going to do with this menace to our lives? If only an adventurer would turn up and offer to free us from this evil. #Dear me, even the wise men of the town can not find someone to deliver us from the scourge of birds. #You sympathise with the townspeople. Not being able to move or walk around must have disadvantages when birds fly low overhead regularly. #Wow, you look big and strong. Perhaps you will travel over the river to the forest and kill the birds? #I have a feeling I will have to, freak woman, seeing as this game is far too linear to allow me to do anything else. #At a guess, you appear to be more important than other people around here. Can you help me? #I think the question is more, "How can you help us?" #No, you can't have been listening, you imbecile. I said "Can you help me?" #The guard does not look impressed. #You try to think of something intellectual to say, perhaps translated from another language. #You are tenacious. But I am very very scary. #You blush and apologise as you wonder where those words came from. #If you help us remove the threat of the birds then we can help you with whatever problem you have. #Sounds fair. I want to break out of this dodgy game, short of pressing the RESET button. #There is a friend of mine living within a cave in the 'Misty Woods', which lies on the other side of the river. #You marvel to yourself on the intelligence that led to the creative naming of all places such as the 'Rocky Mountains'. #If you go to the river and simply tell the ferryman that I want you to get to the other side, Im sure he'll oblige. #Why not, I ask myself? I've got nothing better to do. #Good luck. #You mumble to yourself under your breath and head off to the river, back the way you came. #Don't waste time, go to the forest and start killing things like a maniac. #(\]]^_If you got rid of our tormentors, maybe the king would let you marry his daughter! #Don't do it, have you seen the king's daughter? Been hit with an ugly stick, she has. #You silently promise yourself that whatever game you play next, it won't involve medieval peasants. #Do you know what you have to do yet? #Not really. Have you got any ideas? #No, just thought I'd ask. #Boy, do we like to waste time talking around here. #She's right you know, talk is what we like. #Ooh yes, I'd agree. Of course, in the old days we could talk inanely much better. #Gossip gossip gossip. #Please, please sir, spare us a copper. #"How wonderful," you think. "The programmer thoughtfully put in some whingeing beggers." #Look mate, if I give you any money, not only will you not leave me alone, but all your dirty friends will hassle me too. #But I'm an orphan (admittedly an old one)!!!! #The man screams and wails pitifully. You almost feel sorry for him, but would definately still rather kick him out of sight. #But if I don't get any money then my father will beat me to within an inch of my life! (sobs loudly) #I thought you were an orphan? #The man gulps hastily, and looks plain embarassed. #Look, how about a copper and then I'll be off, sir... #How about I instead use that money to pay for some nasty bloke to throw you into the river? #(concluding his chat quickly) ...or shall I just walk away and leave your field of vision? #Sorry if I scared you. #The man just shakes and refuses to say a word, but keeps running in a circle. #Actually, I'm not that sorry. (You stick your tongue out at him) #The raft begins to move as if by magic. #You vow never to get on such a rubbish raft again in your life. #But at least you are over the river, and can now head out to find the wise old man. #A333333@Ǎ@Welcome. I've been expecting you. #I bet you have. Been praying for me to turn up more likely just to relieve the boredom. #(coughs) And you can cut that biting sarcasm out right this minute. #You blush. #You are here to help rid us of the birds? #Ooh yes please. #The answer you seek is in one of the Great Pyramids, but there are problems getting there. #But to get to the pyramid, you must travel across the desert, whose shifting sands have disoriented many a traveller. #Step through the left transporter which will take you to a friend of mine... #You look at the crudely painted star on the ground that passes for a transporter these days. #Don't get lost in the blizzard around his place, just be careful and ask him the way to the pyramids. #Of course, if you're such a hero, you could try finding the pyramid yourself! #Um, no, it's Ok, thanks. I'll find your friend. #Say hi to his wife for me please. #Get going. Step into one of the transporters. #Silly me, I knew all along how to find it, I just wanted you to pass a message on to Gerald. #You curse to yourself loudly. #When you step into the desert simply walk straight forwards. As long as you don't turn you should find the true path. #Get your backside into gear and go to the pyramid. #XwlxyXz{T{||Hi there, I need to ask for some information. #Sounds fine. How can I help? #I need to know how to get to the 'Great Pyramid'. Do you know the way? #You mean the great big pyramid on the other side of the desert? #The one that people can never find because noone really knows how to get there? #Can't help you, I'm afraid. I don't know myself. Who told you to ask me? #Some really annoying wierd old man in a cave. #Oh, you mean my dad? Yes, he is annoying. He's also a bit cheeky. He's the only living person who does know how to get there! #Nice talking to you, but talk to my father again. Ask him if he is senile yet! #You already know the answer to that one. #Have you got something to do with the birds that are harassing the local townspeople? #Well, seeing as I'm hanging around in a pyramid, you can safely assume I'm up to no good one way or another. #Don't be smart; are you controlling the birds? #Well, I suppose I should own up. Yes, I look after them. Why, is there something wrong? #Apparently they have been flying around the town annoying people. This really must stop. #Well, the birds are at that age, you know. They get a mind of their own and they really won't listen to me. #Thats not good enough. Some sort of solution will have to be made, otherwise its the Spanish Inquisition for you. #Ok, how about the birds have to back in bed by 10pm every night. #Sounds quite good. If I put you down for some community service, I should be able to let you off the hook. #Ta very much. Promise they won't bother a soul again. By the way, have you looked at the hieroglyphs? #Don't distract me, I've done my part of the bargain, now I can leave this dodgy game. #-- WELL DONE -- You have completed this part of the game, and also probably got a headache. #This game will now reset back to the title screen. Cheers, Robert. # `?@?@?@?@?@?@8\A?\DATA\SOUND\STD0.VB;1\DATA\SOUND\STD0.VH;1%s not found. SsVabTransfer failed (%d) - GAME PAUSED - START button to continue playing. SELECT button to quit. #Too bad, you died. Would you like some more fun by starting again? Press the X button to continue. #``@               P`@@`@@8H<(W WHello #Yes. #@ZPaP`  u_char tText1[] = "Hi there. #"; u_char tText2[] = "The guard ignores you. #"; u_char tText3[] = "HELLO THERE? (calmer) hello, carlideRectangle(&Maps[1], 11, 16, 1, 11); setCollideRectangle(&Maps[1], 14, 16, 1, 11); setCollideOne(&Maps[1], 12, 26); setCollideOne(&Maps[1], 13, 26); setCollideRectangle(&Maps[1], 11, 18, 4, 1); // set entrance SetEntrance(&Maps[1], 0, 6, 18, 2); SetEntrance(&Maps[1], 1, 8, 1, 0); SetExit(&Maps[1], 0, 1, 5, 19, 6, 19); SetExit(&Maps[1], 4, 0, 7, 0, 8, 0); // add characters to the scene here SetCharacter(&Maps[1], 0, 1, 1, 11*512+256, 17*512+256, 255, 128, 192, 0, OLDM_TMD); SetCharacter(&Maps[1], 25, 1, 2, 0*512+256, 0*512+256, 255, 255, 255, 0, GUARD_TMD); } void MapInitTwo() { Maps[2].music = 2; Maps[2].heightAddr = HEIGHT2_TIM; Maps[2].colourAddr = COLOUR2_TIM; Maps[2].textureAddr = TEXTURE2_TIM; Maps[2].weather = 0; clearCollideMask(&Maps[2]); SetColour(&Maps[2].skyBottom[0], 64, 48, 98); SetColour(&Maps[2].skyTop[0], 255, 63, 192); SetColour(&Maps[2].middle[0], 0, 0, 0); Maps[2].background = 2; b